Failures vs Mental Illness
One of the biggest struggles that I am facing in my life right now, is letting go of the past and moving on. It's definitely not an easy thing to do for anyone, but when your failures outweigh your successes it's a long road.
fail·ure
/ˈfālyər/
noun
- 1.lack of success.
This is a word that haunts me on a regular basis.
In the past, my failures were something that I carried over my head at all times - a giant axe waiting to drop on me that never missed. As good as I am at making excuses, the fundamental truth behind my failures is that more times than not, I am responsible for each one. Of course there are exceptions to every rule and sometimes things just don't turn out as planned but historically it has been my actions that have dictated the outcomes I dread so deeply.
From my conversations with others, people judge failure in different ways. What one person considers a failure may not even register with another. I have found in my recent travels that many people with ADHD, especially those who lived most of their lives un-diagnosed and un-treated - we tend to consider everything a failure and have shouldered the blame for a long time.
In the past, my failures were something that I carried over my head at all times - a giant axe waiting to drop on me that never missed. As good as I am at making excuses, the fundamental truth behind my failures is that more times than not, I am responsible for each one. Of course there are exceptions to every rule and sometimes things just don't turn out as planned but historically it has been my actions that have dictated the outcomes I dread so deeply.
From my conversations with others, people judge failure in different ways. What one person considers a failure may not even register with another. I have found in my recent travels that many people with ADHD, especially those who lived most of their lives un-diagnosed and un-treated - we tend to consider everything a failure and have shouldered the blame for a long time.
However, before being diagnosed with ADHD, I never really stopped to consider my failures. To truly pick apart what went wrong in the situations that keep me awake at night and look at them objectively. So, this is going to be an exercise in breaking down some failures in my past and seeing if I can lighten my load a bit.
Perhaps if I can keep these things in mind, I will be able to eventually get over the things I have decided are my personal failures, and move towards forgiving myself and making positive changes in the future. Education, Therapy, acceptance and patience will be key!
-S
Comments
Post a Comment