What's Next?

It's been roughly a week since my diagnosis and I have spent a lot of time trying to come to terms with what that means.


I'd like to note, that at the time of writing this I have not yet shared the link to my blog publicly. I am keeping an account in real-time the best that I can but haven't yet pulled the trigger on that one. I'm scared to be that open with the people who I've only allowed to see parts of myself. I'm scared of being judged. I also wanted some time to create more content than just the one massive story before putting it out into the world.
I shared my story with a couple close friends to gauge the response. They were overwhelmingly supportive and happy for me and encouraged me to share. They thought it was important, brave and something that deserved to be read.

Normally the thought of planning and changing my life would have rendered me into an anxiety filled mass underneath a blanket, but the ADHD medication that I started last week combined with the anti-depressants do seem to be providing me with the ability to try.

I have a follow up appointment with my doctor on Wednesday the 27th, in which I am sure we are going to discuss my diagnosis, medications and try to get my health back on track. Now that "whats wrong with me" isn't the ONLY thing I can think about, I should really get on top of my diabetes and physical health.

I have my first psychologist appointment scheduled for April 4th and I am both excited and nervous. I know that moving forward I will need to learn some better methods of coping, adapting and regulating myself in order to achieve any success. Medication alone will not be enough to help me, and at this point I have some serious baggage I need help unpacking.

I sat down with my husband and told him the story - the WHOLE story of what happened. He was less than impressed with what I almost did, but by the end of the conversation I think we both felt better about many things. I knew that I couldn't post my story online for the world without first being honest with him and ensuring he understood that it will not happen again. Ever.

Those were three pretty big steps forward for me, and have left me a bit lighter and more able to move forward.

I have also spent a lot of time thinking about how I can do something to help other people. It started with writing my story and wanting to share it. It morphed into the idea of creating a website for people suffering with ADHD/Depression/Anxiety. I considered the idea of doing some short videos, perhaps a podcast, or even a Twitch channel.
I think I have landed on a great idea, and with the help of a super talented friend we are working on the details and I hope to have some news to share on that front soon.

Today though, I focused on getting some work tasks completed and am now going to go make some dinner. I've had a craving for a recipe that is rather time consuming and has many prep-steps that I haven't been able to actually consider making for quite awhile. It's happening tonight!

Talk soon!
-S